I’ve been so overwhelmingly sad lately but all I can do is just put on a happy front and pretend like I give no fucks in the world about anything, when in reality I care too much about everything.
Got rid of Twitter.
I’m not sure how long for but I hope it’s permanent. I feel the need for some cleansing in my life and the only way I know how is to disconnect myself from social media for a while.
I’m not sure why I always feel the need to disconnect from people even though I have no reasons to. Perhaps I feel like I need to put on a front that I am strong when all I want to do sometimes is cry. I hate that I hate vulnerability in myself. I hate that I’ve changed this way since the second wave of depression in my life.
I think I just need a good cry even though I don’t really have anything to cry about. I think I just need a good cry over nothing.
Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, “I really love you”. They’re just talking or humming or watching a movie or reading a book or laughing or something, and there’s something about them in that moment that makes you think, “I just really love you”
everyones getting in relationships and I can’t even find my other sock
Sometimes I feel like I’m just destined to live a lonely life. Those difficult, lonely, friendless high school years, and now these difficult, lonely, loveless years.
Most days I am happy and dandy, but I guess today is just one of those days.
I’m having a moment right now and I’m feeling so restless, upset and lonely.
I’m 21, yet I’ve never had any sort of intimate experiences. I’ve never had a first kiss, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I have recently developed a fear of being old and alone. There are so many people out there in the gay community that are old and desperate and I’m so scared of ending up being one of those people. I really just want a love that blossoms and stays with me and my potential future partner forever.
I honestly don’t know why it’s so hard for me to make a connection with gay people. I barely have any gay friends, and at this rate I will never find someone to fall in love with. The pain this loneliness brings has been unbearable lately. I try to soldier it but it doesn’t work. I try to accept it the way it is but it doesn’t work.
Honestly, life is good but I still feel so empty and lonely. I wouldn’t mind if I died tonight.