In hindsight, 2014 has been an amazing years. I’ve had my moments of weaknesses but I have nothing to complain or worry about. I actually look forward to reflecting on 2014 at the end of the year.
My favorite mantras are, “there is no point stressing over things you cannot change” and “life is unpredictable so might as well enjoy the present”. These mantras have gotten me through some difficult times this year.
I don’t actually want to live if life is going to keep having these tough moments. I’m weak and I’d rather die. I always think about dying in my sleep, and tonight, that feeling is intensified tenfold.
I know I’m so hard on myself, and I know I shouldn’t be. I just can’t help it. I’m so mad at myself for being so upset over this situation. I’m so mad that I’m mad at myself.
All I really want to do is to get along with everyone and be happy, and have lots of laughs, and have good times.
It’s so hard though. I keep pondering to myself; what did I do? Where did I go wrong? At the same time, I know it’s not my fault I have a shitty friend. Intellectually, I know it. My heart tells me otherwise though.
This has consumed my mind for a good two hours. I’m going to do it. I’m going to add a few slashes. I’ve been so good but I need to.
ya hes cute…….but is he conscientious of the social inequalities and corruption in hierarchies of power that plague this world